Navigating the Holidays with Grace

The holiday season often arrives like an old friend—familiar, glittering, and warm. Yet, for many of us, it can also bring a quiet weight, a pressure to be cheerful even when our inner world feels a bit stormy.

If you're feeling this push-pull, know that you're not alone. The holidays are a mixed bag for so many people. While we’re told to savor the magic and togetherness, some of us are navigating grief, anxiety, or the complexity of family dynamics. And that’s okay. You’re not broken for feeling like the holidays are more about endurance than celebration.

In my book, Checking In, I talk about the power of self-awareness—how being honest about where you are mentally and emotionally can unlock your ability to show up authentically. That lesson is one I lean on heavily during this time of year, and I’d love to share a few thoughts on how we can all find a little more peace and joy this season, no matter where we’re starting from.

1. Let Go of the “Perfect Holiday” Myth

Social media, commercials, and even that one Hallmark movie your aunt loves all paint a picture of the perfect holiday. But striving for perfection can be a recipe for burnout. Give yourself permission to redefine what a meaningful holiday looks like for you. Maybe it’s skipping the big party to stay in and recharge. Maybe it’s showing up to the family gathering, but leaving when your energy says it’s time. Whatever feels right is enough.

2. Take Care of Your Mental Health First

We’ve all heard it before: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” The holidays are no exception. Checking in with yourself might mean stepping back to breathe, journal, or call a friend who really gets you. If you’re struggling, reach out to a therapist or counselor. Asking for help isn’t a weakness—it’s a beautiful act of self-care.

For me, prayer and meditation are lifelines. They remind me that even in the chaos, I’m held by something bigger than myself. Whether it’s a spiritual practice, mindfulness, or simply sitting with your thoughts, give yourself space to reconnect with what grounds you.

3. Set Boundaries with Love

This one is big, y’all. The holidays can stir up old family patterns or obligations that don’t align with who we are anymore. It’s okay to say no to traditions that feel overwhelming or draining. You can set boundaries with kindness: “I love you, but I won’t be able to make it this year.” Your mental health is worth protecting, and anyone who loves you will understand.

4. Celebrate the Small Joys

Sometimes, it’s the little things that light us up. A warm mug of cocoa. A favorite song. A cozy pair of socks. When the holidays feel heavy, I challenge myself to look for the quiet joys. Joy doesn’t have to be loud to be real.

If you’re grieving or missing someone this season, honor them in a way that feels special to you. Light a candle, share a memory, or make their favorite dish. In that act, you keep their spirit alive.

5. Give Yourself Grace

Lastly, let’s remember to treat ourselves with the same compassion we’d give a friend. The holidays don’t need to look perfect to be meaningful. If all you do is make it through, that’s worth celebrating, too.

As you navigate this holiday season, I encourage you to take a moment and check in with yourself.

Where are you emotionally?

What do you need?

Sometimes, we get so caught up in making the season bright for everyone else that we forget our own light. 

Checking In is about building the habit of reflection, connection, and self-compassion—not just during the holidays, but all year long.

Disclaimer: This blog is based on personal reflections and experiences shared in my book, Checking In. While I hope these insights resonate, they are not a substitute for professional mental health advice. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, I encourage you to reach out to a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide support tailored to your needs. Remember, seeking help is one of the most courageous things you can do for yourself.

The holidays are an opportunity to reflect, to connect, and to show up in ways that honor who we are today. Whether this season finds you thriving or just holding on, know that there’s beauty in every moment of showing up.

You’re doing better than you think.

Sending you love and light,

Michelle